Friendship is Highly Underrated

I hated when girls said that I looked cute, cause as a teen that was their way say of saying, "I just like you as a friend". But as I got older I realized that friendship was the greatest gift one person can give to another. It is highly underrated, and is much more important then any physical or animal attraction. Because in the long run, friends will help you, while lovers may betray you. And your friends are likely to share their thoughts and true emotions with you while lovers are always caught in the web of what they can and can not say.

I don't base my own perception of myself by what other see, good or bad. As a teen I wasn't happy with my personal appearance but what teen is? As I got older I found that I didn't really care so much and that true beauty came from within. "Beautiful" people that worry about their appearance all the time but one day they will be left with nothing while others who worked to compensate for their lack of looks by improving themselves will be eternally wealthy in the measures of happiness and personal growth.

Sometimes I can be down right rude with my friends, but I'd rather be open with my thoughts then to simply hold them in to create some fake bubble that protects people from truly feeling and thinking what's on their minds. As for me. I hold in my personal and private information due to the fact that most people are not ready to hear what I have to say. Its not always nice and its just the way I think. It usually has no reflection or baring on what others say or do to me. I can not say or think for anyone but me. So to really explain what I think and expect them to understand is ridiculous. Nobody thinks just like me but if I can just get them to understand without getting upset, well then maybe we can be friends.

Why Do you believe what you seem to believe?

In the world today we learn different values depending on two major factors. Nature, this is what comes naturally as a human including how we adjust to our surroundings and Nurture this is what is taught to us. They are ideas that others have put into our minds so that we see the world as they do.

Well with such a bias introduction you would think that I am totally against Nurture, but that isn't so. Because we can easily say that it is Man's nature to become the strongest leader of his pack. That's why we had to create laws to fight against our more primal being.

The Ten commandments are similar to things you would teach a child so that he doesn't learn that killing someone, lying or stealing is ok. I think without these rules there would be a strong possibility that people would do these thing to protect themselves and benefit their standing in the world. Basically, laws and commandments go against both the law of the wild, that is, survival of the fittest and against the laws of economics, that is, only the best business will succeed.

But in the real world people don't want these competitive elements to be the foundation of society because it would cause chaos and destruction. So what do we do we create an even playing field for all. Laws, morals, standards and rules all based of the past precedence of societies before us. We pass these things down to our children in hopes of creating model citizens out of them.

But as laws are made and compounded do we create a better place for them or do all these rules eventually stifle and oppress us into mindless drones that follow the leader. Who is to say. I think we all need to get back to nature a bit and let people think for themselves. Let a few of the stupid people kill themselves off, let the unhealthy people die and let the truly intelligent people that can think for themselves do so. Now that is a plan for a utopian society. Where people are good and happy and do the right thing because they know it on the inside not because some rule book tells them to. And of course these things can never become true because our human nature is to lie, kill, and steal just to get ahead. How sad is that?

What Jesus Wouldn't Do!

I saw the funniest thing on TV this morning. Some environmentalist met up with some Christians and they came up with an idea to sell cars! Sure, that's crazy right? But then how else can you explain this? They stole a great slogan that actually makes being a 25 year old virgin a cool thing and turned it into the socio-economic bull most people refer to as "advertising."

They changed the slogan to..."What Would Jesus Drive?" What the kind of question is that? Besides being a total slap in the face to all the 25 year old virgins who hold their little wristbands as a symbol of solidarity. But to take their slogan and turn it into a way to sell cars? If they where really any good they would be selling themselve! Where do we draw the line? I once thought it would be a good idea for the president to do commercials to raise money for the national debt. Right? But then Clinton, did so many dirty things in the white house that I realized how cheap the presidency had become. But Jesus in a high mileage? Come on! Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of fuel cell cars that clean up the air and suck up less gas, but to bring Jesus into the whole thing is like getting Michael Jordan to sell batteries...err or Hotdogs...what he sells those too? Ok, so maybe advertising is truly the last step to selling your soul to the devil and Jesus needs to be around to keep an eye on those guys. But all I do know is that Jesus rode a camel or a donkey, Jesus walked, even over water, and Jesus probably hitchhiked. That's like, walk, bike, bus or carpool today. None of those was buy a new car to promote the car industry, even if it was fuel efficient. Jesus wanted people to have community not sacrilegious self-indulgence. So don't buy one of their cars cause Jesus would buy one buy one because you care about the air we breath.

My view of my father comes through years of disappointment and years of him making up for it then disappointing again. Its not a new thing for me so it gives me a good perspective. Not to mention I am always able to disconnect myself from my own emotional issue to look at the big picture. My father did what he thought was right at the time. I didn't end up the messed up so I should thank him for getting me out alive and into a job I like and at least making sure I never doubted my self or my own chances of getting into a university and graduated near the top of my class. I can at least say in these respects he was a good leader, a good provider, just not a great, friends or emotionally giving parent.

Why I keep a blog

So I think about my childhood a lot and how my father was such a jerk most of the time. I didn't even really love him until I was 18 and saw the world with a new perspective. Offline I started a journal, not of daily things for me, but of things that I want to remember now. I wanted to reflect how I felt when I was still young that I could one day share with my child. I thought that it would be great to have something like this if I died before my child got to know me but in all reality it was suppose to be a reflection of me when I still knew myself. I know that my father has forgotten who he was long ago by the way he acts now. He thinks my torturous childhood was a breeze and that he was such a good father. It's a shame I could never break my self to tell him the type of person he was and what horrifying memories he created for us all. So to move forward I want to be sure to mention a few things to my child that I was never given the benefit of hearing from my father. For one, I never knew what my father did as a career. He was in the Marines and he left it at that. He never told me what he got his degree in college, he never told me what he wanted to be in life and he never showed me how to shape my education to one day fit a career. He told me one year before I finished college that he had gotten the same degree I was about to receive; a degree in Business Management. I was happy to see that we at least think enough alike that we got to the same place without discussing it but really he could have asked earlier, and could have given me advice on what are good things to do in college. All the same I don't even use my degree and I am a bit happier in the career I have chosen. My father and I barely talk anymore and really it seems that I barely miss him at all. I'm not sure if this was a result of him not talking to me more before or merely the way we had been headed this whole time but I do know that if he had tried to provide more guidance then he did that we both might be more happy.

Now opening my new blog site