Gato's Revenge!
So I wake up two days ago and look at the front of my car and there are muddy cat footprints and I jokingly say must be the ghost of that cat I accidentally killed, come to take revenge on me. But then I work my way around to the trunk of my car and someone took a key to it! I know I have a nice car but why would anyone want to destroy a thing of beauty? Now I am left wondering if this was some form of revenge on me or just a random kid with a personality disorder. Let me tell you. Destroying other's people's property is just mean. It leaves the victims hopeless and wondering what they did to deserve this. Well, I know what I did. As a kid I use to vandalise things. Now why would I do that? Bored I guess. So I think the world of karma has come full circle and now maybe I'll think what would I feel like if someone did that to me?

Gato Muerto


So I have never been an animal lover but I have never felt so bad in my life and it really changes the way I think about animals. I was driving in a dark neighborhood that was a shortcut to a store. The sides of the street were lined with cars, making it narrow. Well its late so I'm driving a little fast and looking straight ahead when from out between some parked cars came a cat. Well I really didn't have time to stop when thump I felt like I hit a speed bump a little fast. I look in my rear view and I saw a cat running around in circles. I thought at that point maybe I only grazed it. So I kept going. Well before I got home I felt a bit guilty so I drove back to see if it was ok but there it was dead on the side of the road. I could guess it bleed internally.

Well I don't run a pet cemetery and really didn't want any more to deal with this so I went home. But I sat thinking how helplessly stupid animals are. I mean that damn thing ran out into the street exactly as I drove by. What is that! So people, take care of your animals, they need you.

The sins of the father


You ever stop and think that your parents weren't always right? Or say things like, "I'll never be like you to my kids"? It seems that my not so fragile world took another hit recently. I was at a Thanksgiving party my friend's parents were having and my best friend's mom was a little drunk and told me something I never knew. But to set the stage: My best friend's name is Billy and I lived more at his house then with my family. Well his family offered to take me into their home for the last 2 years of high school because my father was getting a new job one state away. The only thing was that my dad gave them legal rights over me in case of an emergency. Also he agreed to pay them $250 a month for rent.

This sounded like a great deal for me. And even though there were a few bad things that happened in that two years I lived with them, it was still better then if I moved away with my father.

Back to the story. Billy's mom is drunk and she says she was very saddened that my father would hand me over to pretty much strangers (they never meet but I told him they were good people) and that after about 4 months my father didn't make regular or full payments to them and they let me stay. Granted they ask me to leave the week after graduation but I understand now. Also, the legal waiver he gave them was only good for a year. Had I gotten ill the following year I would be in trouble. Basically she said she couldn't understand how a father could treat his son so poorly. And really that sums up my childhood. I once told someone that the car my father gave me for graduating college was the nicest thing he's ever did for me. But really how sad is that? He never really showed love for me and I have suffered emotionally for it. Now I feel I owe Billy's parents money and I still haven't confronted my father. I don't know if I even should.

And now I think has my father permanently hurt me? Will I be a selfish too? I know that I already shut people out and think very selfishly. Am I doomed to follow in his ways. I pray that I do not. For the sins of the father, may fall on his children.

I Drink therefore I am

It seems in my life I have more drunken hours with my friends then not drunk and really prefer being drunk with them. I don't know that it is that I see them differently as much as it makes me feel better about being around them. They are all good people but everyone seems so much happier after they have had a few drinks. But it appears there could be a problem with all this. Sure drinking is hard on the body but that's another show. Today we will see how it affects your memory and your mood.

This thanksgiving weekend my friend's dad had a Christmas party and allowed my friend to have a few people over in the den/ garage. Because I had gotten so drunk the night before I decided that I wouldn't drink so much and would offer myself as a Sober Driver. In my definition that means I had 3 beers in 3 hours. But you really gat to see people differently. It seems in the past that we use to get really drunk and have a good time and create memories. Usually at parties similar to that one we were at or in a dirt spot in the mountains or some place wild. Now we go to clubs and dance. Rarely do any stories come out of that and therefore we were always talking about the past and how much fun we had back then. And 90% of the stories dealt with us being drunk somewhere. I never saw us a alcoholics but really we don't do anything sober, now or then.

It makes you think. Why in the time since we grew up from small kids to adults did we lose the courage to do things and have fun? I mean really we drink cause it makes us feel happy and crazy and able to do anything. But as kids we use to do these things and have as much fun as we could without drinking. I wonder if I could ever go back to that time. So I figured for my new years resolution I would try and stop drinking. We will see how that goes.